Forget My Love
by Wingless Night
Summary: [COMPLETED]. My hands searched the floor for something, anything that I could use as a weapon against this man. I stumbled onto a platform leather boot. It was one of Gaara’s, but I hoped he wouldn’t mind me beating this guy with it.
1. Sasuke

_**Notes:** This is a story I've had written on my computer for quite a while. Since I'm weird, I decided to finally post it online. It was originally called Three Questions, but I changed it after writing it for a while. Now its, as you see "Forget My Love"_

_Unlike all (and I mean ALL) of my other fanfics, it's written entirely in first person, but not the normal first person – its diary format. I don't know why I wrote it like that, I just felt that it was. Originally, it was just regular first person, so some things may not make sense as if it was being written in a diary, but that's my mistake and I'm too lazy to go back and change it. _

_**Summary**: Uzumaki Naruto is the lead singer of a band (unnamed as of right this moment). With him is guitarist Hyuuga Neji and drummer Sabuka Gaara. There used to be a fourth member to their band, who was the original guitarist named Uchiha Sasuke. When the band was finally scouted by a label, Sasuke dropped out in order to pursue his dream of being a novelist. He broke up with Naruto (they were going out before) and have since lost contact with him. _

_**Warnings**: Angst, YAOI, shonen ai… maybe some masochism… language… dammit, its all the usual stuff! MWA!_

_**Pairings**: SasuNaru… maybe others if I'm inspired._

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**Forget My Love**

**Chapter One: Meet You There**

Date: 8 April XXXX

Dear Diary:

When we were younger, before all of this happened, there was one question that you asked me – just one as I got onto that train that led me far away from you. I've thought about writing you often, but you get so much mail as it is, I wonder if a letter from me would even matter.

I suppose I really don't care though, whether I write to you or not. I could just as well write _for_ you. Being in a band as I am allows you to do something like that.

I remember the question well.

"If you could be anything you wanted to be, what would you be?"

I remember my answer too. I said that I would want to be a bird – that I would want to fly up into the skies with no possibility of being weighed down by troubles or worries. I said that I would want to glide on the wind and listen to its tales and that I would want to fly away from all my problems.

You laughed when I told you that. I can still remember the sound.

You don't know how much I've held onto you. It's been a year since I parted from you to start this band. I didn't want to leave you but I needed to find myself and I could only find two of me when I was with you.

They do say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. All absence does to me is make my heart hurt. Is that what fonder means? I was never good with words, as you well know.

You used to tease me about it all the time, so I wouldn't know if you actually thought I had a brain or if I was just a good fuck for you. Will I ever know?

I look down at the paper that I was writing on. Surprising how, even when I'm not concentrating, I can still write down lyrics. Well, that is my job after all, to right down lyrics.

It's for the show that's happening later this month. Like always, I wonder if you'll be there. Like always, I don't think I'll see you. But I wrote to you, giving you a ticket for free just in case you wanted to come. I don't know if you do or not.

I don't know if you even think of me anymore.

"Naruto?" a voice asks.

I look up. It's Gaara, the drummer of my band. Behind him is Neji, who's our guitarist. I wanted you to play the guitar, really, but you said that you were too busy writing novels to participate in silly things like bands.

"Naruto?" Neji asked, noticing that I'm in my own little world again. He notices that a lot about me, but I never acknowledge that.

"Yes?" I ask, tucking a few loose strands of blonde hair behind my ear as I stare at them.

"Are you done writing the lyrics for this week's show?" Neji wants to know.

I stare at the paper in front of me, nodding.

"Can we hear them then?" Gaara prods. He knows that I hate being poked and prodded and I think the only people besides you who can do it are these two right here. After all, they're closest to me these days.

I nodded to them, silently agreeing that I was going to sing the lyrics to them. They sit down, making themselves comfortable as I stare at the page in front of me. This one's for you, love, 'cause I still love you.

_(Lyrics omitted. See note at bottom)_

I finished up the last note and turned to my bandmates. "So… yeah… that's what I was thinking of," I told them. They just kind of stared at me and I shrugged. I had gotten used to this staring game that the two of them played from time to time.

After all, I'm an idiot. I don't get angry when people call me an idiot… not like I used to be with you around, because I've finally admitted to myself that I am one. And an idiot isn't supposed to be able to belt out lyrics even during a depression.

Yes, that's what I'm going through without you… a depression. You don't even know what this is doing to me. I let you into my heart and this is how you repay me, you bastard? The minute I leave, you fucking forget about me… it's not like I've tried anything to get back in contact with you.

You're a grade A novelist who's got a nice ass. All the girls in the world are after you for a good fuck and after a while, I just couldn't stand the fact that you were screwing them almost as much as you screwed me. What number was I on the list, Seven, Eight? One Hundred? Who knows? I don't know anymore, I don't think I ever did.

Jeez, thinking of you… that's all I do anymore. I sit back, look out my window and wonder what the sky sees – whether it can see you… whether you're thinking of me while you write.

While you screw…

No, I'm not going to think about that anymore! I'm not going to think about you anymore! I'm going to live my life, for the first time, without you.

I'll forget you even though I love you.

Sasuke…

_Kyuubi-kun's Korner_

_The song was Simple Plan's "Meet you there." Because of the recent no-song-lyric policy that I've just learned about, I know have to go through all of my fics and omit the song lyrics. This sucks. A lot. Sigh. _


	2. Life in General

**Forget My Love**

**Chapter Two: I Stand Alone**

Date: 10 April XXXX

Topic:

Dear Diary:

Neji and Gaara are even more worried about me. I was even farther into Neverland these days than I had ever been before. I know why too… I'm counting down the days in my head. There's only three left until our six year anniversary. Sasuke's and mine. We never actually officially broke up… but he cheated on me enough and so I left.

He didn't even want me there, I guess. He let me leave. Maybe it's selfish of me to say stuff like this, but I suppose once you've had enough, you've had enough. I haven't spoken to him in all of these months. One year to be exact.

I wonder if he still remembers me.

"Naruto?" Neji asks as he takes a seat next to me. I take a sip of my coffee as I stare at him.

"Huh?" I asked. It's the best sound that I can make in the morning, especially when I brood like I've been doing lately. Neji knows of my past relationship with Sasuke. As does Gaara. After all, the four of us were the original band members but then Sasuke went off and did his own thing and the three of us stayed. The four of us used to be the best of friends, but then things happened and now it's only three of us.

I wonder if Neji has ever regretted the days we spent as us four, dreaming of being a band but not really working towards it. It seemed like at the first chance we got as a band, Sasuke dropped the gig. Neji moved from bassist to guitarist and that's the way it's been ever since.

"You've been thinking about him a lot lately, haven't you?" Neji asked me.

I didn't know how to respond. Of course I had been thinking about Sasuke a lot lately, and I knew that there was no other "him" that Neji could be referring to. Sighing, I nodded, not trusting myself to speak.

"That's right. It's almost been a year, hasn't it?"

I nodded again.

"Did you make the new song for us?"

Another nod.

Neji sighed and I knew what he was waiting for. I had changed since I left Sasuke. Before, I was an obnoxious loud teenager. I barely talk these days. I sing and occasionally I cry – but I don't talk often.

I say what needs to be said and then I shut up. I can't really believe it. It's as though I've turned into that bastard while I'm at it.

"Sing it for me?" Neji asked. Gaara and Neji only said what was necessary as well, so our apartment suite was normally quiet. I got used to it after a while though.

"Sure," I murmured, sick of nodding. I began my song.

_(Lyrics omitted once again. These were supposed to be Godsmack's "I Stand Alone.")_

Neji looked thoughtful after hearing me sing this song. He turned to me, a knowing look on his face. "Is this for Sasuke?" he asked.

Slowly, I nodded. I felt tears prickling in my eyes but I would not let them fall. I refused to let them fall – at least with Neji around. Neji was really my idol. He might have known it.

He was sexy, smart, compassionate, stoic, and did I already mention sexy? He had this long silky black hair that almost reached his waist. His eyes were a little freaky if you weren't used to them – being an off-white. His skin was pale and he normally wore these really nice tight pants and buttoned silk shirt, the top few buttons casually forgotten.

I swear, he's a walking sex god, almost like Sasuke was.

Wait, I'm not going to think about Uchiha anymore, right? So why do my thoughts always revolve around him.

"You thinking about breaking everything off with him?" Neji asked me.

"Yeah, I can't keep living in the past, y'know?" I told him.

Neji nodded, still looking thoughtful. We sat there for a very long time, silently drinking our coffee and waiting for our practice session, which was going to start in a half an hour. Gaara would be asleep for the next twenty minutes. He had always had this gift of being ready in under three minutes. It's scary, actually, but what else can you say about that boy?

Well, I suppose I should tell you what Gaara looks like. He's not as sexy as Neji is – but he's pretty damn sexy if you go for the psychotic thing. He's got red hair that comes down to his shoulders and is always wearing fishnets. He's goth, that's true. He has a ton of black makeup around his aquamarine eyes and he has _no_ eyebrows. Freaked out yet? No? That's good. Gaara is always into leather, so he usually wears it. He looks hot in it, but I've never gone for the psycho look. I know several people that have though.

Neji had left me, probably while I was off in my own little head again, but that's to be expected. Neither of them stay around when I'm not in my right mind, something about "not being able to see me look that pathetic" as Gaara once told me. I don't really know what to think of it. So I don't. Not that hard to figure out, neh?

I sighed, laying back on the couch that I was sitting on. I tried my hardest to keep Sasuke out of my head, but that was hard. I loved the guy, whether or not he knew it, I still loved him. Sure, I guess when I explained it before, it seemed like we had a tear-filled good-bye like in the movies, but that's not really what happened.

I can remember it well, the reason why I left.

On the night I left, I went over to his house (of which I had the key) to surprise him because it was our anniversary, number five, actually. I walked into the house, remembering to close the door behind me. A devilish grin came to my face as I tiptoed over to Sasuke's bedroom.

I waited outside the door, strange noises coming to my ears. It sounded something like grunts and groans and moans. Disgusting, if you ask me, but whatever.

Slowly, I opened Sasuke's door, walking into the darkness that settled over the room.

The sounds were louder. I squinted to be able to see the moving form on the bed. As my vision cleared when the moon came out from behind the clouds outside the window, I stared in horror. It wasn't just one form on the bed. There were two people there, and by the looks of it, they were fucking each other senseless.

I didn't care who the other person was, but I saw Sasuke on the receiving end.

I felt tears falling out of my eyes, as I stumbled back, Hand fumbling for the doorknob. I managed to trip over something on the floor and slam into the door.

The forms stopped moving on the bed. Eyes widening, yet blurring with tears, I tore the door behind me open and slammed it back, trying to make it out of the apartment as quickly as I could.

I ran down a few streets, random ones that I didn't even know existed prior to this night. I couldn't shake the feeling that someone was following me. I finally turned down one street that happened to be a dead end. Since no one seemed to be around, I allowed myself to collapse to my knees, beating the large wall at the end of this street with my fists. I couldn't help it. I had loved Sasuke.

And he had been cheating on me…

Did that mean that the words of love he whispered to me for five fucking years didn't mean anything to him? I didn't want to think about it, and I tried to quiet my sobs, but I couldn't. I screamed, loud and long and had some random old bitch yell at me from out her window. I flipped her off and walked towards the main street again.

The only problem being that I was completely and utterly lost.

"Oy, Naruto!" I heard someone say from behind me. Swirling around, as well as stumbling back at the same time, I saw none other than the person I was planning to avoid seeing for the rest of the month, if not the rest of my life. Yep, you guessed it – Uchiha Sasuke.

"What the fuck are you doing here, Sasuke?" I yelled at him, anger surging within me to try and replace the pain and tears that had been falling.

"I followed you," he said, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Well, don't!" I growled. "How long, Sasuke?" I was beyond angry now. I think I may have even been pissed. "How many, you fucking bastard!"

He looked at me with that damn stoic expression of his. He didn't offer any explanation or anything of that nature. It only made my hurt grow, stamping out my anger. All he did in response to my question was give a tiny shrug.

Sighing to myself, I looked down at the ground, allowing the tears to fall. "Was I… nothing to you?" I asked softly, not being able to look him in the face while doing this. "Was everything… were we… a lie? Is that all you thought of 'us' as – just being some kind of joke?"

I couldn't stop myself now, I was ranting, rambling, I was begging him to explain what had happened between us – what it meant to him. To me, he was everything and I didn't even want to think about going through life without him. Judging by what I witnessed, however, I did not mean the same thing to him.

It hurt.

It really did.

He was the first person that I could call a friend, and now he was the person who hurt me the most. Goddamnit Uchiha.

He looked like he was about to speak, but I just shook me head.

"I'm leaving, Sasuke," I whispered, not even sure if he had heard it. There was a flash of some kind of emotion in his eyes, but I didn't know what it was – so I didn't care for it either. "I don't think I'll be coming back."

With that, I turned around and began to walk away, trying not to sag to me knees once again in my grief. Four hours later, I was on a train with Gaara and Neji and neither bugged me about what happened for a week, until they caught me trying to kill myself. I told them what happened and then they let it go.

I sighed, looking up at the ceiling. I knew the real reason why Sasuke occupied most of my thoughts lately. It was because that place that I had run away from a year ago, we were returning to.

Our next concert would be held in Konoha, the village I had escaped from without telling anyone but Gaara and Neji. I wasn't exactly in a hurry to return there. After all, I didn't want to face Sasuke.

I just won't go looking for him, I suppose. I won't try and find that bastard.

I wonder how many people he's fucked every since I've been gone? Has he even given me a second thought? Was anything we ever did together worth remember? I don't know.

But I wasn't going to face him unless I really, really had to. That was the only promise I could make to myself about the situation and _know_ that I was going to keep.

I didn't want to face Sasuke. I never wanted to see him again – mainly because, if I did, I would fall in love again. Even I know that about myself.

_Kyuubi-kun's Korner!_

_Yo, here I am with chapter two… three's in the making, actually… but I've hit a block with it. Sorry people. I really am sorry. Anyways, here's two for your enjoyment. Aargh, I'm tired so I'm off… ciao_

5


	3. Strange Happenings

**Forget My Love  
****Chapter Three**

Date: 15 April XXXX  
Topic: Strange Happenings

Dear Diary:

I don't know where to start. I don't know if I can find somewhere to start. To every little second I still have in my brain, my entire body shakes with fear. I'm confused, maybe hurt and everything is strange! There was nothing I could do! Nothing!

I'm sorry for these tears that stain your pages. I can't stop – I can't think. Everything in my brain is whirling and spinning and I can't tell what's right or wrong anymore. I'm sorry!

Today didn't start out bad. We made it to Konoha like we knew we would. We have a roomy suite for our time spent here. In two weeks, we move onto the next town. The only thing I really hate is that I can see some of the places where Sasuke and I once laughed and held each other from the windows. That was all so long ago. Before… anyway, I'm a little off track.

I was out exploring my old town. I wanted to know what had changed and what had stayed the same. In the grand scheme of things, a year isn't all that much. But to me, it has been a lifetime. I've seen so much, been so many places and met so many people. I just haven't seen _that_ person. Even after what he did to me, I can't stop loving him.

Is that wrong of me? Should I just give up on him?

Anyway, I was telling you what happened. After a while of walking around, I decided to head to Ichiraku's. It's a popular restaurant that I was at for most of my childhood. I even had a job there before everything went to hell and I left town with Neji and Gaara.

I was glad to see that not a lot had changed. I felt that all I had to do was close my eyes and the past year didn't happen. The restaurant was the same, I was glad for it. It was only at this place that I found myself being able to live without a mask.

Well, almost.

I sat down at the bar, greeting the old owner. Boy, did he look surprised to see me. He could recognize me even with the tinted sunglasses and dark blue baseball cap that I used as my disguise. We talked for a while about the old days before we were interrupted by a cold voice at the door.

"Ichiraku-san," it said. Oh, I forgot to mention Ichiraku's is named after the owner, Ichiraku Kanaye. I usually call him "old man" but most people refer to him as "Ichiraku."

"Ah, Sasuke-kun," the man greeted the newcomer. "What can I do for you?"

I felt my body stiffen. Sasuke? What the fuck was he doing there? He used to _hate_ Ichiraku's. Least, that's the way he made it seem all of the time.

I wanted to turn around and look at him, but I was too scared to. I didn't want to face him yet. I didn't know how to. I wasn't ready. There was too much to say and a single glance could tell everything or nothing. I didn't want to risk the former happening. I didn't want him to know how much he hurt me.

"One," Sasuke was now telling Ichiraku. I guess the old man asked him how many people he was with.

One? Sasuke would come here alone? Tch. I wonder if the world is ending.

"Then why don't you just take a seat right here with Naruto-kun and me," the man invited graciously.

I froze, though. He said my name! He said my name to _Sasuke_! I didn't want to see Sasuke yet! I felt his cold gaze on my back and I bit my lip. Since the cat's out of the bag, I suppose I might as well greet the bastard.

Turning around, I put on my most infamous mask, which was, of course, my fox-like grin. Lifting my sunglasses so that he could see that Ichiraku was not mistaken, I gazed at him impassively.

"Yo, Sasuke, I'm back," I said.

For a second, I saw something flash on his face. It was surprise, but I wasn't sure. After all, this _is_ Sasuke we're talking about. He's a stoic bastard. Even I made him laugh in public only a few times. When we were alone, it was a separate matter, however. He would drop his stoic face for me and we had fun.

Oh, good times, good times.

He merely grunted at me after he regained his composure. I wasn't offended. It was a typical Sasuke greeting. I recalled when we had first met, it took me weeks and months for him to give me any type of expression or _anything_ more than that stupid grunt. I loved getting a rise out of him.

"Not gonna welcome me home, bastard?" I asked him with my smile somehow intact. "That's all right." Here, I felt the bitter taste of our long-ago goodbye. "Your going away present to me wasn't exactly happily received, either."

He glared at me. I don't blame him. I would glare if I was in his shoes, but I'm not him. I'm the person he cheated on, not who cheated. Fucker. I calmed my anger. Sasuke seemed to collect himself as well.

"Why are you back?" he asked tightly.

I looked at him while sipping my tea calmly. "Business."

"Really," he wanted to know. If you ask me, he sounded a bit disbelieving.

"Yes," I replied. "The band is on tour. Konoha is our first concert, then we move on."

Sasuke looked surprised again. Man, this guy is cracking. Or maybe I was just hallucinating.

"You're expecting me to believe that the band actually got somewhere," he growled, smirking in that superior way of his.

I smirked back. "I'm not expecting you to believe anything. The facts are this, though. Our first CD came out last month. It's number twelve on the list."

Sasuke stared at me. I just looked back, acting as if I didn't care. I don't even know how or why I was still calm at that point. I was hopelessly in love with the asshole but I managed to act as though I got over him months ago.

I know I'm not over him. I know that more than I know my songs.

"Walk with me, Naruto," he ordered. I wanted so much to yell at him, so much to tell him that he couldn't order me around like this anymore, but I couldn't. Something prevented me from doing it.

It doesn't mean that I don't usually talk back to people, but I don't usually talk back to Sasuke. I just can't. It's always been a problem. At one time, it made me hate him. Then I began to enjoy his company. Let me make something perfectly clear, now that I think about it. When I say "talk back" I mean, I follow his orders but usually not without some type of unhappy verbalization.

In other words, I followed Sasuke out of Ichiraku's. We walked for a while in tense silence. Coming a cross a park at the center of Konoha, we walked until we found a bench.

I sat down immediately. Without saying anything, I was making it perfectly clear that if he wanted to say something, he should say it here and now.

I didn't want to be here. I didn't want to confront Sasuke now, or ever, really. I was trying to get _over_ him. It wasn't working for some reason or another, but that's not the point in question here.

"I…" Sasuke began but he stopped himself. I wonder what he was going to say.

"I love you, Naruto," Sasuke continued quickly.

I think what I did was right at that moment. When he said that, I stood up and hit him as hard as I could, slapping him across the face. That asshole! How… how fucked up can he be? Did he lose something in his skull? Was it his fucking mind?

"What the fuck was that for, idiot!" Sasuke growled at me.

I had to keep in control. I was telling myself this. I had to keep in control of my emotions, so that I wouldn't break down in front of him. That would be bad. Very bad.

"Are you that stupid?" I yelled at him. "What the fuck did you expect me to say?"

"That you love me too," Sasuke told me in a smug manner.

I kept chanting "control" in my mind.

"You want me to love you?" I snapped. "You want me to forget that I caught you cheating on me, in _our bed_? You want me to forget that when I asked you about it, you merely shrugged? You want me to put all of the times I cried for you, wondering if everything we ever did meant anything behind me? Are you _really_ that idiotic, Sasuke?"

Here, I must admit, my control was not at its best. Around Sasuke, I must admit, I have always been more easily provoked. It's a fault of mine, but I didn't expect to be confronting my faults right there. I was completely out of my mind. It was horrifying, yet at the same time, it was thrilling for me to finally let out all of my emotions. It was especially good to let out these emotions to the person who initially caused me grief.

Sasuke just looked at me. I was breathing heavily due to my anger. I glared at him through eyes I hope did not give away my forbidden love for this man. I couldn't let him know how I felt. That was not what I wanted to show him now. I was angry, all of my rage that I had kept contained was boiling off my skin.

Sasuke looked directly at me, with a strange look in his eyes. I was about to say something when he spoke.

"You cried for me?" he asked in a soft, almost broken, tone.

I didn't know what to say to him at this point. I didn't know if I _could_ say anything. He stared at me in a weird way. I couldn't understand what emotions he was showing. Silently, I nodded, not looking away from those deep black eyes.

"I didn't think you'd cry for me," he whispered.

I found myself growing angry again. How can he be saying this to me?

"We were together for five years, Sasuke," I spat out. "Of course I cried Of course I was angry. I really did love you, Sasuke."

I was being stupid now, talking with my heart. It was more of me than I felt I had been in ages. I felt tired, so drained of all emotion that there was nothing left except what I was saying without even thinking about it beforehand.

"Maybe I still do, but you look as though you never loved me."

Can anyone besides me hear my heart cracking in half? Maybe it's actually shattering into millions of little pieces.

"I was your toy! I was just an easy fuck for you, wasn't I?"

I had my pride, you realize. I didn't cry during this entire time I was with Sasuke. Now like I am now, mind you.

"Did you ever love me?" I screamed. "Did you just go out with me because you hated me that much? Was I always a fucking game to you?

I was completely gone at this point. I wouldn't have been surprised if he had hit me. He didn't though. I hadn't been focusing on him during my entire rant, but now I did.

He looked… sad. So sad. I found my voice catch in my throat, but I made myself talk. I wasn't done! Looking at him straight in the eye, I snarled in a low voice, "I'm not your plaything anymore."

Sasuke just stared at me. He didn't even look the slightest bit angry, which I had expected from him.

"Is that how you think of me?" he asked quietly. Giving out a tiny laugh, he sighed. "Looking back, I don't blame you for anything that you've said. I was an asshole. I hurt you and…"

So the bastard couldn't even say he was sorry. "And what, Sasuke?" I snapped. "You're sorry?" Here, I gave an un-amused snort. "Bullshit. You're the _great_ Uchiha Sasuke who had his first book published when you were twelve. Since then, you've become the best author in all of Konoha. You don't have _time_ to be sorry! Goodbye."

I turned to walk away. I wanted to walk away from my ex-lover forever. He didn't need me in his perfect life. He didn't need me to be there and fuck everything up.

But I need him. Still, I suppose love is just all about self-sacrifice. Love is synonymous with pain. Nothing can ever or will ever change that. I don't think I'll ever find another person to love as much as I love Sasuke. But he will have to.

Because he doesn't need me. That knowledge gave me the strength to be able to walk away from all of this. This relationship, that is.

I had barely gone five feet when someone blocked my path. Looking up, I saw Sasuke standing there.

"Get out of my way, Uchiha," I tried to sound angry, but even I'll admit it sounded more sad than anything.

Sasuke didn't answer me. He just wrapped his arms around me, embracing me to his chest. I didn't move, neither to hug him back nor pull away. My heart was pounding against my chest. I sighed to myself, inhaling the scent of my Sasuke.

No, he wasn't mine. He never had been.

Slowly, while I was thinking, he leaned down. I could feel his muscles shift but didn't fully comprehend it. That is, I didn't fully understand what he was doing until his lips were covering my own. I gasped in surprise.

Sasuke slipped his tongue inside my mouth. How I missed this feeling! How I wanted to have this back… but I couldn't.

Sasuke isn't mine!

I broke away and without a second of hesitation, I ran. I ran as fast as I could. I thought I heard him call my name, but it was probably just my imagination.

God, I can't stop crying. The tears started as soon as I got back into the suite. I'm so glad that neither Neji nor Gaara can see me like this. I'm writing this down to get it out of me. I need to just… move on with my life.

I will get past Sasuke. It's for his own god that I'm not in his life.

Love is sacrifice – and a sacrifice is all I am.

_

* * *

Kyuubi-kun's Korner! _

_Hi everyone. Here's chapter three. I hope all of you enjoy it because it took a lot of me to write this, and a lot of time that could have probably been spend on studying for a social science test, but who believes in tests anymore? Who studies? I don't… I write. _

_Anyways, on to review responses, because its 3:13am and I'm bored. Bored bored bored bored bored!_

_Thank you to all of my reviewers. I love you all. There was no song in this chapter, because there was barely any mention of the band. This chapter was strictly to show the relationship (current) of Sasuke and Naruto. Where everything goes from here, well… you guess is as good as mine._


	4. Celestial Concert

_I know it's been a while, but y'know… whatever. I'm doing my best here… I really am. I'm pulling allnighter's nearly everyday, and I have two jobs that I'm working at, and I've still got college in a month, and my sister's wedding in three days. So yeah, lots of crap. Well, enough of this. Here's chapter four. _

**

* * *

Forget My Love  
****Chapter Four**

Date: 17 April XXXX  
Subject: The Concert and Stuff… yeah…

Dear Diary:

It's finally happened, our debut concert for the tour happened tonight. I'm still hyped up on adrenaline and excitement. I mean… we were _awesome!_ And we were the headliners! I never thought the band would make it this far, it all seems so unreal. Hopefully I'm not dreaming. This would all suck if it were just a dream. Wow… I mean… just… wow.

Anyways, I should stop saying redundant things. But man, we played tonight! It was glorious! I've been on a high ever since we've gotten back. Gaara and Neji seem kind of… neutral to the entire thing. I don't understand how though.

However, there was one part of this evening that wasn't perfect. The place that we played, _Snakeskin Fire_, is a bar that the three of us _and_ Sasuke all know very well. The owners are a trio of weird people, but they liked our group. And when I say "our group" I mean _all of us_. Neji, Gaara, me _and_ Sasuke. Way back when we were all together, and things were perfect… back before a year ago…

I'm getting really off track here and I don't really want to be. What I've been meaning to say is that the first time that we ever performed, as an opener (of course we weren't headlining back then). At that time, it was when the four of us were together. Back when we were the band, _Fanged_. Oh, I haven't told you our new name, have I? Well, for obvious reasons (i.e., my sanity) we changed the name after Sasuke and I broke up.

Now we're _Demons Unleashed_. We all have our own codenames for the band, kind of like… bandnames. We're not known by our real names. Don't ask me why, but I personally think its cooler this way. It adds more intrigue and mystery to us.

My name's Kyuubi, after this super wicked nine-tailed fox demon that has been in mythology. I always loved reading up on him. He was my favorite demon. Likewise, and for mostly the same reason (though he won't ever admit he's that sentimental. Don't tell him I said that) Gaara is Shukaku. Neji took a long ass time to figure out a name for, mainly because since with _Fanged_ we didn't have nicknames, he wanted to know why we needed them now.

In truth, I didn't really have a good reason, but I suppose that really doesn't matter these days. Anyways, Neji took on the name of Akuomei (1). It's a weird mix of "akumei" "oni" and "youkai" that he came up with. I didn't even know Neji would put that much thought into a bandname after saying how stupid they were.

I keep getting offtrack, don't I, diary? Sorry about that. Well, I was telling you about how it used to be _Fanged_ there, with the four of us? The scary part about tonight was that ever though it was only Neji, Gaara and me onstage, _Fanged_ was still there. Sasuke was sitting at our old corner table that we used to take after the shows, or to watch the headliners and he was watching us.

I would say he was watching me, but I still don't believe that he really gives a damn for me. It's so fucking obvious that it's all some trick. Maybe he wanted to see if what I had been saying was true. Well, we have another concert tomorrow and then a third one the next day. Then we have two performances next week until we move on to Suna.

Did you know that Suna is actually where Gaara's from? He came here when he was twelve, and then well, he stayed. He's not too happy to be going back home. I can understand what he means. I mean, after all, I'm not too happy to be back home either.

Well, good night for now. Neji will kill me if I'm not well rested for tomorrow.

* * *

Date: 18 April XXXX  
Topic: Shit! Shit! Shit! 

Dear Diary:

Well, I think the topic is justified today. I mean… just _shit_. The concert hasn't happened yet, and I'm not entirely sure how I'm going to perform. I can't help it! I can't! He's like… _stalking_ me or something. I don't know! I just don't know what to do about him. I was just walking along a trail that I used to love in the park and _he _was there. Without so much a hello, he pinned me up against a tree and started snogging the living daylights out of me.

I was sure it was all some kind of trick. After all, it had to be, right? Sasuke wouldn't care for me. He's just trying to fuck with my head. I can't care back, even if he did. There's too high of a risk that's I'm just a boytoy and that I'll get hurt again. I'm not taking that chance again. Not now, not ever.

But _damn_, he's still such a sex god. He's so good at kissing! I'm not sure whether to be happy because it happened, or angry because he did it. _I'm so fucking confused!_

Sasuke's never been one for subtleties. I've known that for years, but he would always respect someone's personal space – at least in public. When we were at home, he got quite clingy, but that's the past.

THAT WAS A INVASION OF PERSONAL SPACE!

And then what he said to me… I don't think I'll ever forget it.

We had just finished kissing and I could tell that he was happy. He leaned his forehead closer to me, resting it against my own. I felt happy. How long had it been since I had tasted the person I truly loved with all my being? It would be wonderful if we could return to those old days, but I knew we couldn't.

"What the fuck did you do that for, asshole," I growled. I didn't want him to know the floaty feeling I was getting. I couldn't let him know about that. Imagine how he would smirk and sneer at me! I'm sick of being the butt end of his jokes… and his dick. But that's old news, I swear!

Anyway, he starts to stare at me, really deep into my eyes and stuff. I swear, if he was a computer, I would be able to see the pixels in his eyes… that's how close he was. T scared me. I swore he could probably hear how loudly my heart was beating.

"You haven't changed, Naruto," he whispered huskily in my ear.

"What do you mean?" I asked, stammering slightly because of the close vicinity of my ex.

"You still get me aroused every time you sing," he murmured. I could feel my face heat up. So what if he got aroused when I sang? He needs to learn to control his sex drive! Still… the way we were situated, the way he was talking, the kiss, everything was so like old times. Everything gave me that warm, fuzzy nostalgic feeling.

There was no one else on the trail, and I hoped he wouldn't realize this so that he wouldn't fuck me right there. Even though I wanted him to, I couldn't let him. I'm not one for fucking outside, for one, and _two_, I'm not going to fuck Sasuke – no matter how much my dick wants me to. I will not listen to my libido! I will not listen to my libido! I was actually chanting that in my head as he held me, pinned against that tree.

But since I didn't want to let him into my thoughts, I merely replied coolly, "Well, that's good for you, maybe a cold shower will help."

He seemed angry by this, and he pushed me even harder against the tree trunk.

"Dammit, Naruto, _don't you fucking get it?_" he shouted at me. I think by now, I was glad no one was around.

"Get what, Sasuke?" I answered civilly. I didn't even have to pretend I had no idea what he was talking about. I really didn't know at that time.

"I _love_ you, Naruto, and that's never going to change! Why can't you love me back?" he pleaded, eyes softening for a moment. It scared me. I thought I had made my reasons clear a year ago, as well as a few days ago!

"Listen Sasuke-" I began, but I was cut off by him slamming me into the trunk again. My back was really beginning to burn.

"No! You listen, Naruto," he snarled. "I _need _you. Come back with me!"

Here, I had the decency to avert my eyes. He didn't seem to like it though. "Look at me, dammit! Look at me and tell me you don't want this as well."

See, there came the problem. I've always been horrible at lying… _always_.

"It doesn't matter what I feel, Sasuke," I whispered calmly.

"What do you mean? You've always been the one out of the four of us who had a heart and you proudly wore it on your sleeve."

"Well, I'm sorry… but I had to take off my shirt. Like I said, it doesn't matter what I feel. You probably only want me back because you're little seme or whatever dumped you for a good fuck with someone else."

"_Don't talk about matters you know nothing about_."

Here, my eyes flashed angrily. There's a reason Neji, Gaara and I became Demons Unleashed. When we become angry, we're demons. Usually, we keep it in check most of the time, but right now, I was quickly losing my cool. I was quickly losing my ability not to slaughter the man in front of me.

I glowered at him, and he scowled back. For a minute, or maybe an hour, we were stuck in that position, trying to see if we could indeed still communicate without words. It wasn't working out nearly as well as it once did.

"You're right," I said quietly. He looked suspicious. Even when we were going out, I barely admitted that he was right about anything. "I know nothing about that. I only know that you two were fucking on our anniversary."

"Oh, fuck that, Naruto!" he shouted desperately. "That was a year ago. Give it up and move on already."

Here, I wryly smiled at him. "I will if you tell me that you've given up as well. That you've given up on what we used to have. That you've given up on me."

He glared at me and I matched the intensity of his gaze calmly. It wasn't hard for us to resort to these staring contests a lot. We normally did, but that was only because whenever we used words, we only ended up fighting.

We used to be able to read each other well through our eyes. We've both had similar pasts, and so therefore – we were always able to connect. Then it stopped, we stopped being able to connect anymore. We haven't been able to get it back together again. I don't want us to be able to get it back together again, and yet, I realize, that at the same time I don't… I do.

It's hard to explain. I mean… here Sasuke is, offering to give me back what I had. But can I really trust him? After what he did? After what he did to me? I gave him my trust once! I gave it to him and now I don't need it anymore. I don't need _him_ anymore.

Fuck, I'm bad at lying. Even to myself. I do need him, I want him, I need him, but he's the moon. I can't reach him.

My hand automatically reached up, unconsciously gripping the pendent that I still wore. He's the moon. The just reminded me of a present that we bought each other – well, it was a set, and we each paid for half in order to make it seem as though we were treating the other to the present.

It was two pendants… a silver moon and a golden sun. We were always like the moon and the sun. We couldn't live without each other but at the same time, it always seemed as though we couldn't live with each other either.

I still faithfully wore the pendant. The two connect. They are halves of the other. It's hard to explain in writing, but I'm doing the best I can. It was our promise, that even though we were different, we would still be together.

It was our wish.

Our wish.

Sorry. I'm just getting reminiscent. So… where was I? Oh yes! I reached up to grip my pendent.

Sasuke immediately realized what I was doing and, unconsciously I think, he reached for his own. He still wore the one that I had given him. I trembled in his grasp. I couldn't believe it.

"The Sun cannot live without the Moon to reign in the darkness, just as the Moon cannot live without the Sun's light in the day."

Neji told us that, when he first compared us to being the Sun and the Moon. We brushed it off, but I've never forgotten it. I've never wanted anything more than to be the Sun with Sasuke as my Moon.

It would make me complete. Ever since I walked out on him, I've felt incomplete. I've felt as though… I was missing my other half.

And I was. But that doesn't mean that I will return to him. It doesn't mean that I _can_ return to him.

He's already betrayed me once. What's to stop him from doing it again? After all –

Nevermind. I was talking about the pendants, wasn't I? Yes. The pendants have always been the symbol of our relationship. Even though I am the Sun of the relationship, I wear the Moon pendent. It is to ensure that I would never forget that I have my Moon to balance me out. For the same reasons, he wore the Sun.

And he's still wearing it.

I couldn't dwell on the matter for long. I don't think I want to dwell on it for long. Who knows how emotional I can become if I'm like this already.

"You still have the Moon?" he asked in a soft tone that I rarely heard him use.

Dumbly, I nodded.

"I always wear the Sun," he told me as he drew me into a hug. His lips were near my ear, so I could hear what I was saying. "In hopes that my Sun will be able to come back to me."

I didn't want to break his heart, but my mouth opened without consulting my mind. "I didn't come back for you, I don't think I ever will, Sasuke," I replied. "I came back on business. I did not come back because I wanted to. I will never return after these two weeks."

I didn't apologize. I felt that would have shown too much of what was going on inside of me, and I didn't want that to happen. I didn't want him to know what I truly felt. If he knew that I kept the Moon pendent and wore it for exactly the same reason, then who knows what would ensue? I don't think I would be able to stop it, seeing as how I wanted it just as much as him.

I just couldn't do it.

"Why not?" he asked, pained. "Why won't you come back to me?"

Again, my mind and mouth did not speak with each other before I spoke out loud. "For the exact reason that you want me back, Sasuke," I said steadily, though I knew I was on the verge of breaking at any second. "I love you."

By the time I realized what I was saying, there was no stopping what I was going to say.

"That's precisely the reason why I can't come back to you. I don't have faith that you can be what I want. I probably will never find another person like you, and that is my only regret. I wish we could still be together, but I'm afraid that you will leave me."

"But, Nar-" I held up my hand to stop him. If I didn't get this out now, I realized, then I wouldn't ever get it out.

"What you did to me… I will one day get over it, but I doubt I will ever be in a serious relationship with anyone again. You are still my Moon, Sasuke. You always were, and you always will be.

"I love the memories we have together. I love them more than I love any other memory. I love them more than I love myself. Those times… they are a knife to me. I love them and I hate them. I _want_ to make more memories with you, Sasuke, but…"

My voice trailed off. He pulled back from the hug he had me trapped in. "Then what's stopping you?" he asked, wanting to know the answer.

I shrugged. "The Stars," I replied cryptically. I knew what I meant, and by the look in his eyes, he did too.

It was a conversation we had years before, before we started going out. We had already been called the Sun and Moon and so, the four of us were gathered at the _Snakeskin Fire_ for a drink and all, and Neji had said his line which I won't forget – the one about the Sun and the Moon.

I turned to him and asked, "If we are the Sun and the Moon, then what are the Stars?"

Neji smiled at me. "The Stars are your memories."

We laughed together that night and I blessed the Stars in my head almost every day… but they were the reason I couldn't get back with Sasuke.

"Fuck the Stars!" Sasuke shouted. I smiled sadly at him, reaching up – for he was always taller than me – and giving him a kiss on the lips… a chaste one, not at all like the snogging beforehand. All the anger that I had at him had drained out of me during this conversation. I was only left with sadness. I was only left with the Stars. That's why I couldn't forget them – that's why I couldn't get back together with Sasuke.

I was too busy counting the Stars to move forward. It's always been my weakness, but that's what happens when you're an orphan. I mean, its not that big a deal most of the time, I just have this tiny little habit of holding onto the good memories. And if I and Sasuke would ever be able to get back together, well… we would have to start from scratch and that's impossible for me.

"I can't forget, Sasuke, all the good and the bad, and that's why we can't get back together," I told him in a soft murmur. He stared at me, surprised, before loosening his grip ever so slightly on my shoulders. I stepped away from him.

As I walked away, I heard him call, "I won't lose to the Stars."

It made me smile.

_**

* * *

Kyuubi-kun's Korner! **_

_I would like to thank Fuuee-chan for giving me this name at one in the morning when I bugged her for it._

_There, you have the next chapter of Forget My Love. I'm proud of myself for this chapter actually. I like it, even though its confusing. Being in Naruto's head in this story is fun… usually I hate writing first person, but in this story, I find that I strangely don't mind. _


	5. Doll

_Yo everyone. Sorry for the long ass wait. This chapter is short… I would make it longer, but then you'd have to go through another long ass wait. I'm sorry for the wait and all. So, here's this. _

**Forget My Love  
Chapter Five: Doll**

Date: 18 April XXXX  
Topic: The World is Against me

Dear Diary:

Could life get any worse? I was being harrased by Sasuke and no someone else is after me too. I know this guy as well. He was once the manager of _Fanged_. I don't know. It's just weird. I haven't seen him in a year, but he still looks the same as he used to. Cocky, arrogant, and smart.

His name is Kabuto.

I never really liked him. I mean, at first, he was pretty cool, but then he kept looking at me strangely and following me everywhere. I don't even know why. I don't think I want to know why. I don't even want to think what could have happened it Sasuke hadn't stumbled across us when he did. Right now, I suppose he's the lesser of two evils.

Perhaps I should start at the beginning. It was after the concert. I was on my way back to my dressing room after I had gone to the bathroom. There weren't any paper towels in the bathroom so I was furiously drying my hands on my shirt. I hadn't made it even halfway back to my dressing room when I was grabbed and slammed against the wall.

I remember thinking that it was Sasuke. He had already done this in the park, so y'know – it was the logical choice. After my vision cleared, however, I recognized Kabuto. He was always bigger than me and stronger than me. He also had that annoying smirk of his on his face. Before I was able to give a yell or even say his name in surprise, he was kissing the living daylights out of me. I couldn't make a sound, and I couldn't get away. He grabbed my wrists and pinned them to the wall with one hand. I couldn't make a move.

I felt only fear. Some kind of paralysis that I don't think I've ever felt before. I don't know. I couldn't speak, I couldn't think. I felt his other hand slip into my pants, fondling what was there. I felt like vomiting, but even that reflex wasn't working.

I don't know how long we stood there. I had tears streaming down my fce as he molested me. I couldn't do anything and, thanks to Kabuto, I was half-hard.

I'm not sure what would have happened if Sasuke hadn't been searching for me – if he hadn't found me. I couldn't help but kind of wish that he would come during the entire time. I don't think I've ever been more happy to see him.

The details are kind of hazy at this moment. I can clearly remember a yell from Sasuke as he turned the corner of the hallway and then a few seconds later, falling to the floor. I don't know anymore. I was a wreck at this moment. There weren't any coherent thoughts going through my head. I couldn't help but watch Sasuke. I wasn't going to stop him. I doubt I could even if I had wanted to. But I didn't.

In retrospect, Sasuke looked a lot like a jealous schoolboy. I don't think I should ever tell him that. I'm not sure if he would laugh or get angry.

He slammed Kabuto at the wall, hissing curses at him. The former manager of our band just laughed. He didn't seem the least bit affected by the fact that he was being held six inches off the ground.

Sasuke seemed to get even angrier by Kabuto's snickering. I don't blame him. Who wouldn't get angry?

Finally, after what seemed an eternity, Sasuke dropped Kaburo and came over to me, not giving Kabuto a second glance.

Kabuto stood up, a smirk spreading across his face. "He's not yours anymore, Sasuke-kun," the man sneered. "He's fresh meat for anyone here. Our deal no longer exists."

I froze when he called me "fresh meat." I didn't like that term. It's as if he's trying to tell me that I'm nothing but a fucktoy to the multitudes of the world.

Then his last sentence set in. Sasuke flushed with shame or embarrassment or _something_ that I can't even begin to describe. I was confused by Kabuto's words but I didn't want to ask Sasuke about them right then. I was too traumatized, too paralyzed, too scared to do anything but sit there and tremble violently.

I couldn't help, on the other hand, to secretly enjoy the feeling of Sasuke's arms around me. He rocked me gently, back and forth, stroking my hair.

It was exactly how it used to be, back when it was _Fanged_. After a few minutes of sitting there, it seemed that my reflexes had all come back, including the one that was forcing bile into my throat because of what had just happened. I shoved Sasuke away and doubled over, vomiting on the ground where he had been mere seconds before.

Sasuke just looked at me. "I suppose I should thank you for pushing me away."

I looked at him, wiping my chin. "Fuck you," I growed softly. He just grinned at me. I couldn't help but smile. I don't even know why. It's just a reflex. I suppose I can't help it. I don't think I can help doing anything at the moment.

I suppose I'm just being insane, but I want to go back to him. But there was still the matter of the deal between Sasuke and Kabuto. I'll confront Sasuke about it tomorrow. After all, I have a free week 'cept for practice. Yeah. I'll talk to him tomorrow. If he really wants to make this work again, he'll tell me. If he doesn't tell me… then… I don't know. I'll fall off that bridge when I come to it.

* * *

_**Kyuubi-kun's Korner!**_

_Again, I'm sorry that its so short. I can't help it. My inspiration is going towards all my assignments for college and I'm procrastinating on several of them as we speak. Oh well… I hope to have another chapter out by Halloween, but no promises. Also, if all goes right, you should find out a lot more of things in the next chapter.  
_

_Now all I have to do is write it. _


	6. Answer Me

_Yo, here it is, a bit late, but mooo!_

**Forget My Love  
Chapter Six: Answer Me**

19 April XXXX  
Subject: Now I know

I suppose I should've known who it was… I really should have. If I had placed the pieces together sooner, then I would've known without having to ever ask Sasuke. I suppose a lot of people must feel like this after they've learned something. All the clues just hit them in the head.

Well, I suppose I should start at the very beginning, eh?

I finally confronted Sasuke. I called him and we met at Ichiraku's, on my request. He didn't seem to mind, which in the old days would have sent warning bells off in my head, but we've both changed, so I don't mind.

It was almost immediately that I confronted him.

"Who was it, Sasuke?" I asked, trying to stay calm. I didn't want to ask, in all honesty, but at the same time, I needed to know. I needed to find out why and if I had to, I would track down that person and question why.

"I… can't tell you," Sasuke murmured, shifting his eyes away from me.

"Why not?" I yelled. "Why the fuck not?"

He sat there, staring at me with a hopeless look on his face. I kept my eyes on him. I needed him to tell me. I needed to know why. As much as I hate to admit it, Sasuke isn't one to rush into things without thinking them through. No matter how much he says he loves me, I don't care. If I can't find out why, then everything wouldn't matter. Everything would fall. All I thought I knew would prove false.

And the Stars would win.

Deep down, I knew I didn't want the Stars to win. Deep down, I knew I just wanted Sasuke back.

"Do you really want to know?" he asked quietly.

I nodded, feeling dread creep up my spine. I wanted to know, but I didn't want to. After all, this was something that I had been searching for for a year. But you understand, the person could make the betrayal that much worse. I know its insane, but I was thinking that maybe I had already lost everything.

Sasuke looked at me guiltily. I could feel my heart stop for a second as I sat there, waiting for him to respond to my inquiry. I had gathered up my courage and right now, I'm determined to know everything. Fuck the doubts in my head. I would ignore them!

And I meant everything, by the way. This was the only way that I could ever let the Stars go. For Sasuke, I wanted to let the Stars go. I wanted a relationship again, but in order for that to happen, I needed to know this. It was essential to know the why. Jeez, couldn't the bastard stop staring at me like a kicked puppy and answer my question already? Didn't he realize how important this was?

"Naruto, I…" he began slowly. I looked at him expectantly. C'mon, Sasuke, just tell me. "It-It's complicated!"

I snorted in disbelief. I mean, come _on_. He was telling me that _this_ was complicated. I already knew it was, but I was trying to simplify it.

"Try me," I growled.

"Fine," he responded. He sighed deeply and I stared at him, silently begging him to behing.

"He was always watching you," he snared, clenching his fists together on the table. "Even though he knew about us and seemed to support us, he was always after you. Like a predator, he stalked you. He wanted you. I don't know if you saw it. Neji and Gaara did nothing. When I asked them about it, Gaara dismissed it and  
Neji told me that it was my job to look out for you. They offered to help if I absolutely needed it but they thought that my observations were unfounded and that I was just paranoid."

He paused. I could only guess what was going through his mind. He was staring into the distance and I could only wonder as to why. Maybe he made a promise not to tell me, I don't know. If I were him, I'm not quite sure I'd be able to tell me either.

"So I confronted him. I arranged a meting with him and told him that you were mine and that he should stop stalking you. He laughed at me. He told me that it was your choice to do as you pleased. Don't get me wrong. I agree with him there, but I still couldn't stand the thought of the two of you together."

"So I asked him, what would make him leave you alone? He told me what I had to do. And it was disgusting. I won't go into details here. I hate myself for what I did, but believe me when I say, I did it all for you."

"An on our anniversary?" I prompted solemnly. I was beginning to see the full picture, but it was only that particular day that I couldn't find to fit. I mean, surely Sasuke could have fended off whoever it was's advances on that day.

"On that day, I was drugged and raped," he murmured softly, almost inaudibly.

"What?" I let out, surprised.

Sasuke sighed to himself. "I answered the doorbell, thinking it was you forgetting your keys again. He was there. I tried to shut the door again, but he shoved it back at me. It hit me in the forehead, effectively making me dizzy and a little out of it. He got me during that time. He dragged me to our bedroom and tied my wrists together. I wasn't really aware of all of this, I was too busy trying to get my head back on my shoulders. He made me drink this strange sort of liquid. I can only think it was an aphrodisiac. It burned, but made me feel so hot – so burning hot. I struggled but whatever he gave me made me weak. I could barely move."

He stopped, a flash of pain on his face, lingering in his eyes. "Then he took me."

That was all he said right then. I could almost see the emotions he must have felt back then running through his eyes. I had a fair idea of who it was, but I needed him to say his name.

"You haven't given me a name, Sasuke," I interjected into his train of thought.

Sasuke stared at me for a moment before telling me.

"It was Kabuto."

_**

* * *

Kyuubi-kun's Korner!**_

_Sorry for the not longness of the chapter. I'm trying to get them out quicker and that means that I'm not going for length except on the stories that I've always gone for length on, like PSP. Well, I hope you enjoyed this chapter._


	7. Reunion

_Well, if I had an excuse, I would give it. Here's a reason: I haven't been keeping up with Naruto. I don't really give a damn for this anime anymore. It bores me with its length and the fact that it's mostly fillers and bullshit right now. However, since a few of my stories are AU, I will probably complete them. Maybe. All I'm looking to complete right now is this fic and PSP. If you have anything to thank for my push back into this fanfiction writing business, thank Final Fantasy XII and the overload of gay mens there. I really didn't want to come back to fanfiction. It's something that I enjoyed doing for a time, but I didn't have time for it any longer, so I stopped it. However, I had forgotten how much I enjoyed it. So yeah. Thank Balthier and his overload of gay manness for me actually bothering to continue writing. _

**Forget My Love**  
**Chapter Seven: Reunion**

20 April XXXX  
Subject: Forgiving.

Dear Diary:

Things have been strange lately. Ever since yesterday, I've just holed up in my room. It's my fault, I realize. It's just my fault that… well, that things happen. If Kabuto didn't want me, then nothing like that would have happened to Sasuke. And to think, for the past year, that I've been blaming _him_! I should really have gotten my story straight, but I've always been rather hotheaded.

I don't know what to do. The Stars haven't won… but I don't ever want to put Sasuke in that position again. He was… he was _raped_ because of me, you realize. It's my fault! All of it!

Even though I didn't leave my room today, Sasuke still came by to visit me. Why doesn't he hate me?

"It's not your fault," he said to me. I stared at him.

"What do you mean? Of course it's my fault!" I screamed. Couldn't he realize this as well? Couldn't he understand that? Gods! It's my fault.

"No, it's not," Sasuke said, leaning against the wall in that oh-so-sexy manner of his.

"Why can't you see it's my fault?" I noticed that I sounded like a woman, a really emotional woman, but I couldn't stop it. I don't think I would even if I could. I needed to express myself, and I'm not picky about how the expressing is done.

He walked towards me, a slight smirk on his face. That smirk that I fell in love with all those years ago. I couldn't help falling in love with it again, as I did every time I saw it. I know I sound like a sap but… you try to resist it! I'd like to see you try! It doesn't work. He kept coming closer before wrapping his arms around me, pressing him against his chest. Why was I so emotional? Why was I crying? When had I started crying? I'm not even sure that I know anymore. I don't think I care. I'm saying that a lot – "I don't know" and "I don't care." Oh gods, how could Sasuke still stand to be around me? Even after all that happened?

"Hey, hey, Naruto," he murmured softly.

"What?" I sniffled out.

"It happened a long time ago – and well, it's never going to happen again," he told me, stroking my hair.

Gods, I'm an idiot. I can't stop beating myself up for the past year. It's just… the entire fact that… well, that I've ignored Sasuke, and made him out to be the bad guy, when the real bad guy is _me!_

"How do you know it won't happen again? What's to stop it! Kabuto's still out there!"

Okay, so I'm just a little hysterical at this point but there really isn't a reason for me not to be, is there? I'm allowed to be hysterical! I'm allowed to be whatever the fuck I feel like!

"And I'm smarter now than I was then. There were and are other ways to deal with that type of harassment than just letting him use me as a substitute. I could have gone to the police. I could have beaten the shit out of him. There are a lot of things I could have done, but I didn't. That fault lies with me."

I sniffled. "Yeah but… if he didn't want me to-"

Sasuke put a finger to my lips, effectively cutting off anything that I was about to say. "You have no fault in being who you are. It's why I love you afterall," he whispered, hugging my close.

I was blushing furiously and gods, was I glad that I could hide in his shirt. It was embarrassing. How the hell am I supposed to feel about all of this, though? I mean, seriously… is there any way for me to feel about this? I don't quite understand it myself.

Neji entered my room of the apartment right there. His eyebrows raised as he noticed that Sasuke was hugging me and I was _letting_ him do so. After a year of hearing me bitch and moan about this, I'd be worried to. He looked at me strangely, noticing the fact that I was crying. It was pretty fucking obvious, if I do say so myself. I'm not one of those people who can cry and be able to hide it while it happens. Give me thirty seconds afterwards and there's no problem, but catch me in the act? There's no fucking way I can hide that.

Anyway, let's get back to Neji walking in on myself and Sasuke in this strange state of things.

"Naruto?" he asked cautiously, keeping a weary eye on Sasuke, almost as though he expected.

"Sorry, Neji… I… I was wrong. It… it wasn't Sasuke's fault."

Sasuke hummed to himself as he rested his chin on my hair. "It was partially my fault. I could have told Naruto what was going on."

Neji did something very un-Neji-like. He asked Sasuke what had gone on. I guess he really did care. I mean, I know he cares. He's a bastard sometimes, but it's obvious that he cares. I just. I don't know why I wrote that. Ignore that sentence. See? I scratched it out. Now no one can read it.

Sasuke chewed on his lip for a second. "I was foolish, and let's leave it at that," he told the older man.

Neji nodded, accepting this. "As long as Naruto knows now, then there is nothing I can say."

"He does."

"That is good."

There was a bout of awkward silence interrupted by Gaara, who popped his head into the room. "Pizza is here…" he began, but his voice trailed off when he noticed what was going on. He blinked slowly, comprehending the million of things that could cause the scene before him. Neji was advancing on Sasuke and myself, probably to give Sasuke a pet on the head. Neji had always liked to do that for some reason. I still had tear marks on my cheeks and Sasuke was hugging me.

All it all, it was probably confusing for him.

"What are you doing here?" he ground out, not really trusting Sasuke's presence.

"I came here to explain something to Naruto. He seems to understand, surprisingly."

I glared, but that quickly turned into a pout. My mouth was unaccustomed to the action. It had been that long since I had acted like myself off stage and not just an empty shell. Neji and Gaara were surprised. You could tell, try as they might to hide it.

Sasuke laughed. I love his laughter. He squeezed me tighter to him and I couldn't help but inhale the scent that was only Sasuke. No one else could manage this type of writer-y sexy smell.

I won't describe his smell to you. He's mine, dammit. He even said so. Oh, I haven't gotten to that part yet, have I? Sorry for jumping ahead.

Gaara and Neji were shocked when I was acting like myself. For good reason, obviously, but they still were shocked. I turned around to face the two, leaning back against Sasuke. I had missed this. This simple act of intimacy, I had missed like no other. It was crazy, insane, even, how much I could forget the way we fit together. How could I have stayed mad like that for an entire year? Well. I knew how. I'm me. I hold grudges. I call it a shitty childhood, or maybe it's just how I'm made. But I hold grudges like no other.

I looked at the three of them. It felt so… _right_ to have them here with us. It felt good. There are no words I could ever use to describe what I felt in that room, with the four of us silently trying to reach a medium that we were familiar with. I don't know if they found it, but I did.

And I was _happy_. I used to get tired of being happy and cheerful all the time. When you don't mean it, it's a huge drag. After Sasuke and I got together, it was no longer an act, it was amazing. The fact that I could smile just because it was another day is something that's amazing to find out. It's a feeling that I didn't think I'd ever be able to experience again.

Especially after we split up. I didn't even bother to act anymore. I existed, I tried to get over him. But I couldn't. I would never have been able to. I would have continued to be… _emo_ like that. The thought of spending the rest of my life as an emo is probably the most depressing idea that I can think of right now.

We went out to dinner, the four of us, ignoring the pizza that we had ordered. That was a midnight snack food anyway, no reason to waste good food time with snack food. We went to a place that none of us had even heard of. Sasuke explained that it was a new establishment, but that he had never been inside. So we went there. I think we used the excuse that it had a good reputation for food and service, but I believe that we avoided our usual haunts for the reason that we wanted new memories. Not old ones.

So a new place for new memories.

It was on the way there that I held Sasuke back for a moment, looking up at him nervously from my shortness. "Ne, Sasuke… we're… we're okay, right?" I asked softly. I really want him to be mine again, only mine. But I couldn't claim those rights yet.

Sasuke grinned and leaned in. He pulled me in for a slow, romantic kiss. "We're more than fine, Naruto," he told me. "I'm yours. Forever."

Yeah, I know it sounds cheesy, but it's exactly what I needed to here. I grinned and gave him a kiss before we continued to the restaurant. We had to catch up with Neji and Gaara. They walked ahead without us.

It was about halfway through the meal that I suggested it. "Ne, Sasuke," I began.

He put down his cup of coke and looked at me. "What?" he asked.

"You should get out your guitar again. Join us on stage."

Both Neji and Gaara probably would have spit their food if they were anyone but Neji and Gaara. As it were, they both calmly placed down their forks and shot me twin glances. Because they were Neji and Gaara, I couldn't understand what they were trying to tell me.

"What?" I asked.

Sasuke nearly facepalmed. I could see his hand twitching. He wanted to so much, but we were in public, so instead, he ground his teeth together for a few minutes, probably counting in his head.

Neji was the one who spoke. "Naruto," he began. "I don't think that our manager will approve of this."

"So? We could say he's a guest star or something."

"Naruto, I haven't even picked up my guitar for a year!"

"It'll come back to you, Sasuke. Like… riding a bike. Only I've never seen you ride a bike. Do you know how?"

"Yes, idiot. I know how to ride a bike."

"Oh, good." I turned back to Neji. "I can speak with Haku. He probably won't care. That is, if you two don't mind. I mean, if you do. I suppose we don't have to." Did I mention that our new manager is this super nice guy named Haku? I mean he can be a bit of a hardass on occasion, but he's a doll if you know how to handle him. Or if he's in a good mood.

Gaara and Neji were silent for a little while, thinking about it. I was afraid. I loved sharing the stage with Sasuke. The entire band started with Sasuke and me… I missed sharing that stage. I loved being with Neji and Gaara on it, but there was something dynamic about being up there with Sasuke. However, I wasn't stupid enough to do it if Neji and Gaara didn't want to. I didn't want to break up the band, I wanted to expand it. Or rather… reinstate it. Even if it was only for one show, now that I knew the truth, I wanted to be _Fanged_ again. I wanted what I had.

It's a stupid wish. I wanted the Stars. For the first time of this entire ordeal, I can honestly say that I wanted the stars. Wanted them more than anything else.

With a final sigh, Neji spoke up, "If Haku _and _Zabuza agree, then I'll do it. But I don't want our supervisor getting pissed at us because our manager undermined him… _again_."

Gaara nodded beside him.

That would be the tricky part. Zabuza was nice, on occasion. But those occasions were few and far between and I didn't know how to handle him at all. The only person that might have a chance was Haku, so it would be up to me to convince him of that.

"And Uchiha has to agree first," Gaara reminded me.

I blushed. I forgot about that part. I turned to Sasuke, who was sitting next to me, and looked at him curiously. It all came down to this bastard's decision. Yes or no. And he was holding out on me for a while. Probably wanted to make me sweat. Bastard. I love him, but that doesn't make him not a bastard.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity… he said Yes.

--

_**Kyuubi-kun's Korner!**_

_Well. That's it for that chapter. I'm going to write the 8th and hopefully final chapter tonight, if I can. I won't release it right away, but I hopefully will write it while I still have time to. Happy New Year's everyone who still reads this fic. _

_I'm not sure if I have anyone reading my stories anymore. Cheers!_


	8. Endings

**Forget My Love  
Chapter Eight: Endings**

2 May XXXX  
Subject: Happy Days

Dear Diary:

Sorry it's been a while. A long while. I had forgotten to update people on my daily life since Sasuke said that he would play on our stage again. I suppose I should go into a recap of the entire event.

Convincing Haku was easy. He was an old friend and had originally wanted to contract _Fanged_ anyway. He told me that he had been rather disappointed when Sasuke had mysteriously up and left the band. Well, it was mysterious for him. Not so much for me. Or Neji. Or Gaara. The band members knew what had happened.

So Haku managed to convince Zabuza. I think there was sex involved. But that's just me. When I suggested it in the lounge area of our temporary apartment, I got three pillows thrown at me. Still, there's something going on between those two. I just think they're good at keeping it a secret. Back on track and off the sexual intercourse that my manager has with my supervisor.

Back on track!

Right, so we played together. _Fanged_ reunited for the first time in a year. It was amazing. Sure, we had to change the playlist and add in "new" songs, which were really just the songs that we sung as Fanged, but it was still amazing.

I don't think I've sung that well since… since ever. I was dancing around the stage and Sasuke was backing me up. He didn't mind when I rubbed against him seductively during one of our erotic numbers. We have one or two. I love them. But I love all of our songs. I don't think I'll ever be able to figure out any type of favorite, no matter how long I do this.

We were all into it. I've never heard us play so well. And they got it on videotape too! I had completely forgotten about the video crew that would be taping all of our performances. It was amazing. We watched it the other night. It was only on our final performance in Konoha that Sasuke managed to get cleared to be on stage with us. We had to do the one on Friday night without him. But he was there, front and center, his dark eyes on me the entire time.

Gods, it was amazing. I can't believe it actually happened.

But Konoha is over and done with. I was almost crying at the end. I thought I would have to say goodbye to Sasuke. I had just gotten him back, but he had a life and a career there, in Konoha. I mean, there's always phone and email, but I had _just gotten the bastard back._ I didn't want to leave him behind. There would be no fun in having to leave him behind. Instead of being a depressive dickwad, I would be pining.

I think I would have been more annoying and worrisome. I think Neji thinks ahead a lot too.

It was a huge surprise for me.

We're no longer a three-man band.

Neji somehow or another got Sasuke signed. I think Haku helped, and after spending a night with him, Zabuza helped a lot too. I'm not hung up on their sexual escapades, I'm just stating the fucking truth. Ew. I don't think I should have used the word "fucking" in that sentence. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. I mean, Haku's cute and all, and Zabuza, if he wasn't so creepy and had that "I-kill-you" attitude, he's look pretty nice. But… he does. So, ew!

Anyway. So that's it. Sasuke is a member of _Demons Unleashed._ We're trying to see if we can change back the name to _Fanged._ We no longer have a reason to be Demons. We'll probably still keep our fake names though and give Sasuke one too. Don't want to confuse the fans too much. We've been Shukaku, Kyuubi and Akuomei for six months. I kind of want to name Sasuke Fluffy. But I think he might kill me if I suggested that. Besides, it's his decision. Doing whatever he cares to do. He joined us though. He's actually poking me right now. Fucker. He's just being horny. I don't mind though. A year of abstaining takes its toll, especially when I'm not really big on masturbation.

Kabuto came after me again. It was after the Friday night show. I was the last person out of the dressing room. I just wanted to look perfect. Sasuke was taking me out that night as a congratulations for a good concert, and because it was our sixth anniversary, or fifth, if you really want to take off that year, and even I'm allowed to be vain every once in a while.

I was on my way out of the dressing room, whistling cheerfully. I knew I was going to get laid that night. It was inevitable when Sasuke and I were together. Things always turned sexual. But he promised a nice dinner first, to make up for the craptastic anniversary of last year, and he wasn't one for _much_ PDA, which is why I still think he was kind of possessed for that kiss we shared in the park, so I trusted him on this matter.

Anyway, I was walking out of the room and someone snuck up behind me, placing a hand over my mouth and their other arm around me and pulled me back in my dressing room. The free hand was trailing downwards, fiddling with the waistband of my jeans. I couldn't do anything. I still don't know why. Fear, probably. I hated it, though. I could feel that I was almost crying. I hated that. I hate crying. It's stupid. I don't like doing it. I don't like dealing with perverts either. And yet here I was, doing both.

"Hello, Naruto-kun," the voice whispered in my ear. I shivered as I recognized it. Kabuto. It was fucking Kabuto trying to get into my pants…_again_. I was almost sick of this and I managed to struggle a little bit. The fucker was stronger than me though. He bit my neck harshly, marking me as he held me so tight that it _hurt_. That bite set off something in my head, though. I stepped on his foot as hard as I could. He reeled back, growling in pain. I took off running. I got stuck on the door. The fucking door was taking forever to open. Kabuto grabbed me by my hair and I let out a cry of pain. He punched and kicked at me, trying to get me to stop struggling. I couldn't think of anything to do. My hands searched the floor for something, anything that I could use as a weapon against this man. I stumbled onto a platform leather boot. It was one of Gaara's, but I hoped he wouldn't mind me beating Kabuto with it.

I grabbed it and gritted my teeth, smashing it on Kabuto. On his hands, his face, his head, his stomach. Anywhere I could reach, I scratched and hit and tried to squirm away. A particularly nasty boot-smash to the stomach and he let go. I didn't need to be told by my brain to take off running. I was at the door and through it in a matter of seconds. I vaguely realized that there was blood on me. I didn't know if it was mine or his. I didn't care. I probably looked like shit anyway.

I knew I needed to find Sasuke, someone, security, anyone. I just needed to get out of these deserted hallways that consisted of where the dressing room was. I need to go someone.

I ran into someone, and I thought it was Kabuto. The big, muscular man grabbed my arm to steady me, but I was thrashing wildly. I was half out of my mind with panic and there was nothing I could do. This guy was stronger than me too. I remember vowing that I would go to the gym every chance I got once I was out of Konoha.

"Naruto?" Sasuke asked.

I turned to him, furiously wiping away my tears. The security officer released my arm and allowed me to lean on Sasuke.

"What happened, sir?" he asked me.

I knew I had to tell him. I wanted Kabuto to pay for what he tried to do with me, and for what he had done to Sasuke. And as a rock star, I had enough influence to have that happen.

"I… I was assaulted by… back there," I choked out. It was real. This wasn't an act, like I had originally intending. My fingers were white, gripping Sasuke's shirt. He had his arms around me, rubbing circles on my back to try and calm my nerves. Kabuto could have… he… I can't even write it. I don't want to remember it. Any of it.

"Do you have any information about him that would be useful?" the man asked.

I nodded. "His… his name's Kabuto. He's…" and I proceeded to tell him what Kabuto looked like. I didn't know his last name, but the man thanked me all the same and went off to find my assailant.

I just clung to Sasuke desperately. There was nothing else that I could do. But I knew that we needed closure on this matter, so I managed to convince Sasuke that we had to press charges against Kabuto.

He agreed. We were questioned by the police when they were called because of my shaken appearance and told them we were going to press charges. Kabuto had been taken into custody. Apparently I hit his head and stomach harder than I thought. That, or I was faster than I thought. Either way, he was still there when the guard arrived.

The trial is set up for after the tour. They were surprised when I insisted on performing the next night and I told them that we had fans to conquer and fans to please and that it was our job to be there for them. I just realized… that makes _two_ anniversaries that Kabuto fucked up. Oh wonderful. I'm going to shoot him, murder him, kill him and maim him in a thousand different ways. I will! That, or I'll let him be someone's bitch in jail. I'm pretty sure that I can get him into jail.

That night, I did have sex with Sasuke. After I was cleaned and patched up. It was just a few bruises and cuts. Nothing serious, but he was still clinging to me as thought I had survived a run-in with Death herself.

Sorry if my handwriting gets bad from now on. The stupid bastard tried to read my journal over my shoulder, so I'm in a really awkward position in order to hide it from him! That's an invasion of privacy and he's a schmuck if he thinks I'll let him do it. This is MY journal.

For the time being. Yeah, I know, you've helped me through a lot. Especially dealing with the entire Sasuke and Kabuto deal. But the future looks better. I'm not some fucking kid anymore. And I'm back with Sasuke. I don't know. It was fun while it lasted. You've been a great help but… I have Sasuke.

I have my rival back. I have my friend back. I have my _best_ friend back. I have my lover back. I have my Moon back.

We're on our way to Suna. To something new and exciting. We're together again. All four of us. And there's nothing more that I want in the world except to cuddle with Sasuke right now.

Speaking of which, I think I'm going to go do that. Thanks for everything, Journal. You've been a best friend while I had none. I'll never forget the words I've written here but for right now, love awaits_**  
**_

* * *

_**Kyuubi-kun's Korner!**_

_And that completes Forget My Love. It's a pretty shoddy ending, now that I'm looking at it, but I can't say that I hated this fic. I loved it. It was a new experience for me. I never write this much in first person and I think I pulled it off rather successfully. Thank you to everyone who reviewed and who was patient with me during my long hiatus from the fanfiction world. I appreciate all of the reviews that I have gotten pertaining to this fic. Thank you. _


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